Now Playing: Re-Offender by Travis

Keeping up appearances
Keeping up with the Joneses
Fooling my selfish heart
Going through the motions

But I'm fooling myself
I'm fooling myself

'Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again
You do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again
You do it again

Everybody thinks you're well
Everybody thinks I'm ill
Watching me fall apart
Falling under your spell

You're fooling yourself

'Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again
You do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again
You do it again
And again and again and again and again

memorable moments of 2003

2004 will be the year of certainty for me. a new light has shone on my path. the rain clouds have cleared. the floor plan of my life being drawn up for all to see.

2003 ended with a broken heart. bruised beyond repair. but i can't help but feel that i have grown a lot more than expected. which, of course, isn't bad. 2003 also brought about fond memories of new friendships being forged. the raimah gang has played a significant role in my life. jamming sessions. counterstrike. slacking at raimah. basketball. sentosa chalet. gigs. lame jokes. i thank those who have been a part of it.

spent new year's eve at pasir ris chalet @ downtown east. i reminisced about that day, exactly one year ago. he picked me up from my house and we went to centro for the very first time and danced the night away. then the image started to fade. i wished that we could have remained as friends. but i know better.

i'm glad that i have the opportunity to study in australia. singapore just has too many points that is diss-worthy. i'm no heartlander and i don't intend to be one either. i'm also happy with the friends that i have made over there.

2003 brought about maturity in my music taste. just a couple of years ago, i'd be listening to typical boybands. now, it's stuff like coldplay, u2, finch, yellowcard, rufio, the cure, the verve, dashboard confessionals and cheapthrills!

2004 will see a stronger, more intelligent and more beautiful me. cheers to everyone!

christmas is a time to get wasted

spent a rather mundane christmas entertaining relatives that came to my house for a gathering. watched 'not another teen movie' out of bordem. got changed and despite the shitty rainy weather, met the rest of the raimah gang for our private drinking party. brought my 'absolute vodka' along.

was joined by matt, ziig, pam, cheng, song and aaron. we were initially slacking at the poolside.. but it had to rain (again!) so we proceeded to the sheltered car park. we had booze and fags. felt like we were in our own private world. laughed at each other getting high and talking shite. pam accidentally touched semen. *laughs*

i managed to unlock two bicycle chains. so we were so called 'trespassing on chattels'. we were cycling up and down the levels of the carpark. song got really wasted. and he was feeling kinda emo about his break up and all. bad combi. ended up in tears and puke. i felt that i could have done more to help though.

pam was laughing incessantly at almost everything. she started wasting mentos strawberry as well. throwing it all over the place. then all of us made quite a lot of noise. in the midst of all this, we had sashimi as well. pam, aaron and i also sang 'the song that never ends' from Lamb Chop Play Along.

in the end, we got evicted from the condo (aaron's house). had a great time though. think southpark's towlie 'wanna get high?'

the 'beautiful' people

watched the final installment of lord of the rings today with my folks. had a sore butt after 3 and a half hours of breath-taking scenic views, good looking men and erm...boys (aragon, legolas, frodo?), great storyline and heart felt speeches. it's a pity only during war do people unite and become one. war does accentuates peace afterall.

was at 'Siam Supper Club' with diane and her mates. ladies night (read: free booze!). the crowd was mainly divided into 5 types. firstly, there were the normal people like me and diane. secondly, there were the poseurs (i lost count...). the ah pek uncles trying to pick up girls half their age. the lesbian wannabe losers (one had bugged teeth). and well, lust-hungry men. oh wait, i left out this dude with an orange shirt dancing so gay-ishly. (read: SUNDAY NIGHT IS GAYS' NIGHT!) generally sleazy crowd.

the lesbian wannabe crowd was dancing on the podium. they were practically humping each other's legs (reminds me of dogs). screwing each other and pretending to have a dick. it was unsightly. the worse part is that they are sober. as least if they were drunk, they'd have an excuse for their pathetic behavior. they must be deprived or they confuse feminism with lesbianism (think AliG).

bought a dress from ebase. their clothes are different. got my money's worth definitely. heard they are gonna have trials for flight attendants for SIA in january. let's hope i qualify.

realisation: i need to club more.

you're nobody till somebody loves you

just got back an hour ago from east coast park. was with Song. he was feeling kinda emo. what can i say? misery loves company. so we chatted, drank, strolled, had fags and complained about how unfair the world has treated us in the past few weeks. we went to changi village as well to look at the 'ah gua' (transverse types)

watched 'igby goes down' at cineleisure with alvin. liked it a lot. igby reminded me a bit of myself. so did rachael. i was never on good terms with my mother. but i never did hate her. as for rachael, well, let's just say i know what it's like to be second best in a man's life.

pierced the upper portion of my right ear at 77th street for a measly five bucks. felt my ear being stapled. i guess any form of physical pain beats experiencing emotional pain. bought a denim jacket from topshop for 86 bucks. mommay dearest is gonna sponsor me. *bleah*

i don't deny that part of me questions why he never tried to call me. has the feelings died down within him? is he too chicken to call me? or has he forgotten me? (in a mere span of three weeks?) how can you mean so much to someone at one point in time and being reduced to nothing in another? the complex nature of life leaves me puzzled yet again.

another emo song to describe my mood

Famous Last Tears - Cheapthrills

i'm da door bitch....

the gig was great. i found myself singing to the likes of 'finch', jimmy eats world', baby blue by the early november and the cheapthrill originals. according the chalk, i was like the 'door bitch'. collecting the 2 dollar bills and stamping people's hands upon entrance.

got to know aaron and rudi a little better. we all have something in common. can't speak chinese for nuts! was trying our best to order some food and booze from the kopithiam uncle. it was a failed attempt. *laughs*

laughed my arse off when joshua ate his chicken pau with the paper below still attached to it. chalk was being flirty. his friend from maris/st gabriels kinda reminded me a little of keith...

watched 'whose's line is it anyway' at shen's place with jo. i swear that show cracks everyone (who has a brain) up. watched like 10 episodes back to back. i think my funny bone needs repairs right now :P

Baby Blue - The Early November

fatty shen makes my day!

today was one of those days where you feel that you laughed so much your stomach hurts. laughed at the expense of shen. teamed up with his school mates eddie, who is working at mediacorp right now and colin. made fun of shen's weight. we had a goot game of basketball before that at tampines.

they were like asking shen to become a wrestler? like yokozuna or sth. but he would be called 'fatboy'. tag team with 'the rock' they would then be renamed 'fit' and 'fat'. *sniggers*

gonna attend the gig at third place this friday. it's like being advertised all over friendster. gonna hear their latest original along with some covers. it's always a pleasure to watch them perform. after that, gonna head down to zouk with shen, jo, eddie and friends for some event called 'gorgeous people' for some free booze, free finger food and well, free eye candy.

might be going to pulau ubin for an overnight thingy with shen and company end of dec. gonna do some cycling. and pitching a tent. it's been a long time since i last 'camp'ed. let's hope shen doesn't sink the boat yarh? *hur hur hur*

i miss having jim around. he's like the older brother i never had. always keeping that watchful eye on me from a distance. even when he's in perth, he calls me up occasionally to check up on how i'm feeling. so sweet i'd die of diabetes. he promised that we'd hang out when i reach perth in late feb :) so totally looking forward to it.

screw you guys, i'm going home

i spoke to diane over the phone last night. even today when i think about the stuff she said, i start to snigger. the fact is, she made my pain more bearable. she offered me the same advice as my close friends. but this time, i felt that it really sank in, through that thick cranium of mine. i don't really know her that well but she remained impartial about the parties involved. especially when one is kin.

next book on my list 'Catch 22' by Joseph Heller. gonna head down to borders or kinokuniya real soon. if i continue to sit around, rotting my maggoty arse at home, i'd stupify myself. work ends on tuesday. *cheers* i need to seriously go and lose some weight! a lot of people have commented that i look prettier after i came back from australia.. but i put on a few pounds. *damn*

epiphany: screw him. it's his loss for not being with me. there are better guys out there!

work is just a distraction

just got back from some temporary admin job shite that will last a week. the pay is not bad though. i woke up to the polyphonic melody of my cellphone. it was the employment agency. rushed down to raffles place to start work immediately.

i was so shagged i swear the photocopying machine was trying to make conversation with me! in some foreign alien-ish language perhaps. i looked at the paper shredding machine with interest. it reminded me of someone. *sniggers* did mainly paperwork, filing, photocopying. boring shite.

might miss the 'Cheapthrills' gig next friday at Third Place. was looking forward to it actually. oh wells. sacrifices in the name of that green dollar bill.

met up with Jingwei, Marcus and Jayce yesterday. had strawberry white chocolate frozen mocktail at Max Brenners. yummy. discussed what units we were going to take next semester. i honestly can't wait to go back to australia.

Now Playing: Baby Blue by The Early November

the long and winding road

it's midnight. the music blasting from my speakers disrupts the silence of the night. i scanned my room thoroughly. from the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceilings, my white angel wings, my limited edition red and blue beatles album, my trophies.

i began to re-access my life. i tend to do this after something doesn't work out. first, blaming myself then blaming others. it seemed systematic. so monotonous. i recognise this path. i see familiar footprints still embedded in the soil. that stench of defeat lurking in the stale air.

i took in a deep breath. one of my fists clenched tightly. i slowly loosened my grasp only to find myself letting go of the words 'hope' and 'faith'.

no, to say that the battle was lost was just the easy way out. i struggled to keep my mind focused. memories entered as unwelcomed visitors. i've reached a plateau whereby i couldn't cry no more. i convinced myself that i am strong enough to overcome this.

Don't Push Love Away

Here's a thought, if you're willing to listen
I only tell the truth of the feelings I'm given
Can you hear me now?
Listen
Whispers in the rain
Listen
Don't push love away, you know you do
It's all we have
It's a chore holding onto a vision
Don't leave her high and dry
She's the one you'll be missing
Can you hear me now?
Listen
Whispers in the rain, while you're awake
Don't push love away, you know you do
It's all we have
I hate to think hesitation is a burden
A bittersweet design for a lesson you're learning
She's crying
Can you feel me now this time?
Whispers in the rain, lying awake
Don't push love away, you know you do
It's all we have
Here's a thought, if you're willing to listen.

Now Playing: 'Don't Push Love Away' By The Juliana Theory

a door that closes leads to another open window

how can love and pain be entangled together in bittersweet serenade
how can two lives be fated to meet momentarily then it's farewell we bade
the binding strand of thread that holds us now will soon be gone
a piece of my fragile heart and the accumulating memories torn
some people believe in hedonism, others believe that life is suffering
can't i just lead life normally, embracing everything
tears flow down my already wet cheeksbones
my actions, i simply can't condone
somehow this scene repeats itself whenever he is near
a decision must be made soon, i fear
to be or not to be, i question hamlet
i just need an outlet...
don't leave me standing on that thin stripe line
swaying from side to side, with love sublime

nothing is more urgent than a word of gratitude

it's too early to be awake! yet i don't find myself sleeping much eversince i got back. i looked around at the landmarks that i once used to call my neighbourhood, things have indeed changed.

met up with part of the raimah gang. it has certainly been a while. i missed jogging with song, matthew's singing (he's singing to saosin now...) and ziig's snide remarks. they just bring about a sense of nostalgia. i'm finally home. had matarbak. yummy.

i felt bad ditching shen and daryl that night when i touched down. i already had plans to meet someone to settle 'stuff'. 'stuff' that is yet to be settled. i just don't know where to start. i hesitate too much sometimes. resulting in nothing getting done.

met up with jim as well. he's a really nice guy. he happens to have a crush on 'someone's sister! *evil laughter*. being the spenddrift me, i finally bought the 7250i at singtel orchard, signing up under the SIA coporate plan with jim's help. thanks a lot!

i sense the change in the attitude that my parents are giving me. i just received my own pair of house keys. glad that they have slowly gained trust in me. something that i have waited a long time to earn. although most of the time i'd abuse.

i hate the weather over here. it's freaking humid. i miss winter and spring in perth. it's so much cooler. people here are always in a rush. i seem to be the only one standing still, watching, observing. i owe it to my parents for giving me this opportunity to study in australia.

i'd like to end this note by thanking god for everything. i know that i'm not fully christian and all, but i know that all these are not happening because of coincidence :)

my mind is clouded with disturbing thoughts

it's already saturday. when is tuesday gonna come? am i really looking forward to going back? why am i even thinking about this? what's gonna happen when i see him again? why must i feel so much for him even though i haven't seen him for the past 4 months? absence is meant to be the cure of love. am i an exception?

do i see a future with him? the path seems so blurry and foggy. friends have dissuaded me from going back. they said that going back would only bring more hurt and pain. do i follow my heart or my head? i'm stuck at the crossroads once again.

i'm half way through my revision for my financial accounting paper. gonna do another 2 chapters before hitting the sack. could do an additional chapter if i'm up to it. i'll have to think about the problem on board the plane. 5 hours should be more than enough.

been speaking to a bunch of aussie guys from Canberra. they have this huge misconception that i'm some hot intellectual babe. well, if and when they actually meet up with me will they only gain some enlightenment. but Bren and Tony are really nice to talk to over MSN. and i guess occasional boosts to my ego are what i need for my inferiority complex.

Now Listening:The Drugs Don't Work & Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve

Love is not an easy thing. The only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind.

it's been a hectic week so far. 3 down. 1 to go. let's get this over and done with. it'll be less than a week now before i touch down on sunny singapore's ground.

the weather in perth is getting to be unbearable. when i'm not in air-conditioned places, i feel like i'm in an oven. overcooked. and what's worse, perth is now infested with flies. i have to literally run everytime i'm out in the open. *irritated* i wish i had my insect electrocuter thinga-ma-jig. i'd rid the bloody fly population by more than half.

heard that shenny bazhang had a chance to meet uncle sebbie today. they apparently had nothing good to say about each other. laughed at their first impressions of each other. guess the feeling is mutual.

andy went to my house today. he passed my sister two huge bundles of 'superRings' and Keropok from Malaysia. Mommy dearest is munching away as we speak. Daddy said the whole thing resembled the 'Caltex' Advertistment from back home which i haven't seen yet. *shrugs*

i wanna go home :(

Now Playing: Vanilla Sky by Paul McCartney

Of Vampires and Werewolves...

studying sucks. period. for the past five days, i have fought and lost the battle against procrastination. i'm not even half way through my revision. am so behind time. argh. there goes all hope of getting a distinction for any modules that i'm taking. grrrr.

my mind just drifts off to other things other than studies! like what i'm gonna do after the exams! *continues to day dream* shucks. i can't kept up with this attitude. and worse, i've been shopping! practically depleting my bank account. i'm already mentally preparing a list of what i want to buy when i get back. i hate myself!

watched 'Underworld' on my laptop the other day to kill my bordem or rather my reluctance to study. like the whole gothic feel. felt my love for vampires being rekindled. prolly gonna check out Anne Rice books when i get back.

gave Chalk a call last night. we both sounded different to each other. he went on contradicting himself... he expressed much interest in sleeping with me... then he commented how 'UN-AUSSIE' i am even after spending 4 months here(read: just because i don't smoke WEED and have SEX like nobody's business doesn't make anyone less Aussie). it's a race. not a culture.

note to myself: FOCUS!

Now Playing: 'Empty Apartment by Yellowcard'

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

i need to remove my lazy bone

been really unproductive at studying for the past week. am thoroughly disappointed with myself. argh. gonna head down to the library again in a while, it's the only place where i actually can absorb any stuff, but still... at a extremely slow speed.

went out the whole of yesterday. *guilty look* sat in a Supra for the first time in my life! it felt so cool! *laughs like a girlie girl*. went to Fremantle to eat their famous fish and chips. *Yummy* and met Dominic for the first time. this is a bit complicated... he's my mother's old neighbour's son.

got home to nap for a while. then took a bus to the city to meet up with some ex-classmates from secondary school. i was pretty apprehensive about meeting them. never really liked my secondary school, much less the people who were in it. but there was also this feeling of warmth upon recognition.

we had dinner at singapore chinatown restaurant at northbridge. ordered rice and three dishes. couldn't finish. Lidan, who drives a silvia, offered to send me back. we ended up making circles and going in the wrong direction. *sniggers* everyone seems to put on weight when they come here. damn.

Cottosloe beach is so beautiful! shucks... wish i didn't have exams now, would have liked to laze in the sun. reading a book or sth.

Now Playing: Here Without You by Three Doors Down

who moved the cheese?

blogging from the reid library right now. EBS lecture ended 20 minutes early. 2 weeks time to the freaking examinations. *pushes the panic button*... which is followed up by loud, wailing sirens and flashing red lights.

my housemate wants to move out with her close friends. which left me in a bit of a dilemma. i was also kinda sad and disappointed because of my expectations. i was kinda given the impression that we were going to stay together for long term.

the two choices i have left is either move into trinity or get another housemate. if i move into trinity hostel, i'd have to sell off all my furniture. my mom got kinda pissed with me over this issue. she contradicted herself by asking me not to be so fustrated about the matter, while she fustrated me on the pressure of getting things done within record time.

she later apologised for the very first time in my life. which is much appreciated :)

word of the day: flexibility

flex·i·ble ( P ) Pronunciation Key (flks-bl) adj.
Capable of being bent or flexed; pliable.
Capable of being bent repeatedly without injury or damage.
Susceptible to influence or persuasion; tractable.
Responsive to change; adaptable: a flexible schedule.

Pachabel Canon in D Major Kicks Ass!

rushing for an EBS assignment. some of the aussie kids don't even bother with it. it's 5% of the overall grade. i guess i need any extra mark i can get. it's about 2 weeks more to the final exams! STRESS!

been studying a bit but progress has been really slow (as a freaking snail) but increasing little by little. my plans to study at the library has been disrupted because of how lethargic i felt after my lectures and tutorials. needed to make up for staying up late till 3am every night. hopefully the weekend will freshen me up.

been talking quite a bit to bin bin lately. he's 2 years younger! oh god. i sound so paedophile-like. *embaressed* he claims to be the 'darryl' of his batch from Victoria School. squabbled with him for a bit over the pronunciation of 'Hichew'. is it 'HEE-chew' or 'HAI-chew'? *bleah*

called Jingwei a Necrophile today. hur hur hur. oh yarh, and Marcus drew some weird stuff on my back with his Zebra blue colour marker. it looked spastic. hopefully it goes off with a few scrubs!

Now Playing: Pachabel Canon in D Major & Pachabel Canon in D Major (Piano Solo)

that song is gonna be played during my wedding (if i get married...)!

I MISS YOU!

Erudition or death, i know not, i seek not my destiny

barely a month more before i return to singapore. *chews on my uncle tobys choc chip crunchy muesli bar* feeling ambivalent about returning to singapore. one one hand, i really want to go back and chill with my friends. on the other, i don't wish to deal with any relationship shite.

i just feel confused. him leaving his girlfriend for me. i AM the cause of it. this leaves me guilt striken. honestly, i never thought this day would come. i thought it would just be a passing phase in my pathetic life. well, it has come back to haunt me again. don't wish to deal with this until i return.

Andy has also been acting strangly nice towards me. i thought his gesture of sending me a set of EmoPics were really adorable. effort put in is always appreciated on my side. he claims to have feelings for me. but he tries his best to be subtle about it. the truth is, after the michelle incident, i found it tremendously difficult to even speak to him.

things have gotten better over the years or so, but still there is this stigma forever stuck in my mind. *heaves a sigh* i suck at relationships! *bleah*

Now Playing: One Slowdance By Rufio
You and me dancing the night away
You can feel my heart beating so hard.
We look eye to eye
And I'm swept away.
On a moonlit walk on the beach
Watching the sunrise for the first time
I'm in a trance
From that one slowdance.

I've become so numb....

Numb by Linkin' Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless
lost under the surface,I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
is be more like me and be less like you
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

and every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
is be more like me and be less like you
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you

i wish i had a cat....

roses are red, violets are blue...

it's been a rather mundane week. i wanna catch Underworld. maybe over the weekend. been listening too much to The Cure and Suede. i sense an addiction. i find myself singing to 'Friday, I'm in Love' and being allured by Daddy's Speeding.

was disappointed a few days back over something trival and insignificant. realised how i shouldn't have let it affect me at all. silly me. *laughs at myself*

looking forward to the weekend. planning to go Cottesloe Beach in my bikini. it's been gaining dust in my cupboard ever since i got to Perth. heard the beaches are fantastic. simply can't wait. going with my swedish friend, Lisa. time to fry my skin. *looks at my fading tan in disgust*

40 more days and i'll be back in singapore!

took a quick stroll to the rose garden to check on the spring blooming. you could actually smell all of the sweet roses. and they were all so pretty. resisted plucking any of them.

Rose garden photos i took out of bordem:
beautiful rose garden
roses are not all red...
in the middle..
it's actually a peace memorial

it won't be long now....

was kinda bored and restless on a friday night. arranged to meet Ding An in the city. booked tickets for Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life instead of Pirates of the Caribbean. had an hour to spare before the movie started. went to Mackers down the street. had McNuggets with MILD curry sauce plus a vanilla flavoured milkshake.

Since we were still early, we had a go at the make shift arcade at the cinema. played some stupid racing game. but the highlight was the House of the Dead. laughed my ass off. it's like even though you have blasted the bugger's body off, it's legs still can bite you? senseless.

i thought the movie was kinda typical for an action flick. little development of character. lousy storyline or worse, no story line at all. saw a few familiar faces on the set... hongkong actors. Lara croft always does things which are unnecessary, perhaps to show off. she did speak in chinese which tickled me silly. it was so monotonous. then again most singaporeans speak english monotonously. was also sniggering at the tribal people living in africa. they drew dots on their forehead which looked a lot like acne? it's like they are not a day passed puberty yet.

besides the laughter and well, Ding An's company (he was laughing along with me...)... the movie totally sucked. big time. went to Northbridge to have some drinks. had two shots of cock sucking cowboy. my instinct tells me it's a gay-gay drink. but the caramel taste appeals to me. my favourite drink next to the white russian.

am glad to annouce that i've finally finished MYOB-ing. am currently attempting my law assignment. school starts tommorrow! Economics Business Statistics Excel Test on wednesday! *argh*

MYOB-ing

dragged my lazy ass out of bed early today at 10am. made my way to currie hall in a last minute attempt to start on my financial accounting MYOB assignment. worked from after lunch from 1-ish to nearly 6 in the evening.

realisation: MYOB is FUCKED UP! you can't even edit the mistakes such as dates, figures and any other information once you have passed that step. it annoyed the hell out of me. have to re-do the whole bloody thing tommorrow. also heading to town with marcus to get a gift for a friend.

just received my semester end exam timetable:

08 NOV MACROECONOMICS 2PM
10 NOV ECONS BIZ STATS 9AM
11 NOV INTRO TO LAW 2PM
17 NOV FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING 9AM

a sharp pain through my heart... hurts so bad it feels worse than dying

yesterday was pretty uneventful. before i left for perth, my beloved aunt had suffered from a stroke. i didn't get a chance to see her before i flew off to Australia. chatted with her on MSN 6 with the web cam. my eyes turned red and i couldn't hold back my tears and she continued telling me about what she has to go through and the promise that i have to make to her.

couldn't sleep well the whole night through. tossed and turned on my bed. thinking to myself...why do these bad things happen to people that i care about? why must life been so fucking unfair? especially when these people haven't commited any grave sins in their lives? why must they ought to be punished? why???

i felt a stabbing pain in my heart. then i went numb. questions still go unanswered.

walked with marcus to matilda bay this morning. i had to let it out. i had to clear my mind. so i just sat by the pavement, staring at the yachts, the ducklings and seagulls. families brought their dogs along for pinics. everything seemed peaceful.

as i watched a young rod weller play ball-catching with it's owner, an old lady came up to us. she happens to be the grandmother of the owner. we had a friendly chat, touching on almost everything yet focusing on none....

then she said:'you know what the most important thing life is? It's Love'. it might sound cliche but at that very moment, the vibes of the one liner in M.Night Shamalan's Signs echoed in my head. Everything happens for a reason.

i realised that my aunt needs all the love, care, concern and support that i can give her. not being such an emotional wreck in front of her. so i went home and decided to drop her an email expressing all those :) *prays really hard for her speedy recovery*

Where i end and you begin...

Out of bordem, i have signed up for the infectious virus called friendster. which on normal days, i would have dissed and rejected as a lame method of getting to know your friend's friend's friend's chiobu/yandao friend. get it?

i also borrowed a web camera to show the friends and family back home how i look like in case they have forgotten what i look like or worse, forgotten me totally! will get a web cam when i'm back in singapore. there's no sim lim square equivalent over here which in other words, mean electronics are not cheap!

Jessie sent me a home made video of herself saying that she misses me and she loves me! i love you too babes! best'est' friends forever! and another video of her in class saying 'this is so boring... Whatever...' which i thought was slightly retarded but still, she looks as gorgeous as ever :P Miss you lots! *hugz*

been sleeping too little then too much. either way i still feel energy drained off me and never replenished. feeling restless then i concuss. probably it's the invasion of Ryan and Chris who decided to bunk at my place for a couple of days. *grinz*

just came up with this quote:

"Leading life is a problem itself"

retail therapy is goot!

spending most of my time indulging on Southpark episodes downloaded from the net and on the SBS channel. although most of the cartoon is crude, vulgar and senseless... i enjoyed the 'hidden', satirical political agenda and witty insults hurled especially from Cartman.

went shopping at 'Carousel' yesterday. bought this faded denim mini skirt and a leather-suede flowery/butterfly pattern strappy belt from WestCo. got a light brown jacket as well from Cotton On. i am a firm supporter of retail therapy! *grinz*

am pretty disturbed about the recent deaths of international students throughout Australia. 2 Singaporean students studying at UNSW were murdered and some Curtin guy from China murdered his girlfriend from UWA (my uni!) then out of guilt, commited suicide.

waiting for the coach of the UWA's basketball girl's team to get back to me on practice. i'm out of shape and losing my form. i need to get rid of that disgusting bulge at my tummy. going jogging with meiyan and shuping tonight! jogging along the swan river.

Up The Bracket

hey there *waves to the world* :P

Death By Chocolate

good afternoon.

it's been a rather mundane week. went down to curtin hostel on tuesday to help a friend out with his time magazine critical analysis assignment. GP is probably one of the few subjects in jc that i felt is actually useful to me in real life.

eating sinful home made chocolate truffels at the moment. gonna steal the recipe from Nicholas. he was nice enough to give me a dozen. *yummy* and prolly gonna learn how to make chocolate brownies soon too!

looking forward to The Perth Royal Show which is something like a carnival. with rollercoaster rides and all during the term break. heard it's held in the next suburb, Claremount. (not too far from Nedlands)

TJ and company are organising a roadtrip down south to Albany and Margaret River. was also invited to the MSU Ball (Malaysian Union Ball). *contemplating* if only i had the finances to travel back to singapore for a span of two weeks. i hate to say it but i miss home.

semi-charmed kinda life...

been listening to Rage Against The Machine and Rufio these few days. never thought that i would be able to like these bands. i constantly surprise myself i guess.

met up with this ACS guy on thursday. he's currently studying at Curtin University, aspiring to be a director. read some of his private archive. the ideas were quite refreshing and thought provoking. went to his place at the Curtin hostel village to play his electric guitar. my hands were itching for the past two months. should have brought Shen's guitar over. *curses*

said some mean things to him. like:'so do you actually know how to play the guitar?' *he gives me that look* and i continued: 'for real?'

verdict: interesting guy

spent the weekend at trinity hostel. had pizza with ryan. played some ball. had booze in tu chin's room. heard a lot of lame riddles with retarded answers from the trinity bunch. laughed till my stomach hurt. went to mac dees in the city. ate a double quarter pounder. slept at like 4am.

said an oxymoron today....

'did you break up with your ex-girlfriend?' *embaressed*

great food. great company. what more could you ask for?

TJ's birthday barbecue over the weekend was what everyone needed after the macro paper. *de-stressing* Matilda Bay was kinda chilly though despite spring approaching. it's serenity and calmness was a perfect place to free your mind, sit on the carpet grass and just focus on the surroundings,oblivious to everything else.

was stuffed with food (lamb, pork, beef sausages, garlic bread, marshmellows and pasta with cheese). there were all forms of entertainment: group discussions on sex. amatuer fire tricks by kenny. one guy after another being lagooned by a lamp post. ryan constantly growling into my ear like the ghoul from war craft 3. playing with candle wax. more group discussions on sex.

can't wait for next weekend to come. heading to Metro for an all girls' night out to Metro at Northbridge. heard the music is good and plenty of eye candy to go around.

pictures taken at bbq:
The Sisters Of The Birthday Boy
Sumo, One of the trinity guys that i hang out with
The Birthday boy and me
The one and only war craft 3 infatuated Ryan
Mad bunch of Trinity
Guys having fun. Tuchin looks like he is going to be lagooned
Happy Birthday Boy with the girls

it ain't over till it's over

another fast paced, tedious and extremely stressful week is about to pass. *heaves a sigh of relief* almost done with my 'pass/fail essay assignment' for Law. thank god i had dominic and eugene to give me a few pointers. could have never finished it in record time :)

EBS (Economics & Business Statistics) MCQ Test was an eye opener. for the first minute, i stared blankly into the Mac at the computer lab. it's just freaking 10 MCQs and you would think how difficult could it possibly get. well, it wasn't as easy and straightforward as expected. took me like half the given time to actually get the 'stem & leaf' questions.

one last paper for the week: Macroeconomics Mid Term Paper held tommorrow. looking forward to TJ's birthday party on saturday. it's going to be a barbecue held at Matilda Bay, near the Swan River. i still have Financial Accounting Mid Term Paper on Monday. so there goes the rest of my weekend. *sigh* 50 MCQs in 1 hour!

happy daffodil day!

just got back from the city. american wedding a.k.a American Pie 3 was fucking funny. laughed so much ever since i could remember. the 'doggy style' act, the 'focus' and the gays deserves to be mentioned. it's probably one of the more successful chain shows. am looking forward to Scary Movie 3.

i guess the weekend will be occupied mainly with me attempting to mug for my economics and business statistics MCQ test plus my macro economics mid term exam. hopefully i'll do okie in both. *prays hard*

today we commemorate daffodil day. don't exactly know the history behind it... but what the heck. i received a flower newae :)

manic monday....

been procrastinating recently. haven't got down to seriously doing my tutorials over the weekend. (that was my weekly routine) *wake up call* time to return to reality and give a damn about my studies.

had friends over for dinner on saturday night. we had delicious smoked chicken and experimented with the swedish meatballs. Marcus stayed over, putting our handy sofa bed into good use.

also have been *religiously* talking to Sc00bz on weekdays for the past couple of weeks. it's like everyday after school, i would look forward going home, switching on my computer and chatting with him. he amuses me somehow. good points: he reads. he has a sense of humour. he plays the guitar (he used to be from a local band). he's speaks reasonably good english. bad points: can be a bitch at times. a bit buaya. might be gay.

law is starting to interest me. i realise that i could actually sue keith for possession of property since i have the indefeasible title of whatever that i left at his house. and probably either get back my stuff. or gain compensation. *evil laughter* this gives me a megalomaniac feel through enlightenment. i shall strive to pay more attention during law lectures.

parents asking me to give some thought to getting a PR (permanent resident)over here in Australia. besides, my sister would be coming over in 2007 and i could share an apartment with her. and studying here automatically entitles you for consideration.

serious shite coming up:
pass-fail assignment for Law
economics & business statistics test
macro economics mid term paper
financial accounting mid term paper

Song on perpetual play mode...

This Is Not An Exit by Saves The Day

Despair could ravage you if yo turn your head around
to look down the path that's lead you here, cause what can you change?
You're a vessel now floating down the waterways.
You can take your rudder and aim your ship,
just don't bother with the things left in your wake.
Just sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping your back.
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that you have
and your love will be warm nights with pockets of moonlight
spotlighting you as you drift, the actor in this play.
You walk across the stage, take a bow, hear the applause,
and as the curtain falls, just know you did it all
the best that you knew how and you can hear them cheering now.
So let a smile out and show your teeth cause you know you lived it well.

Happy National Day, Singapore

i didn't even bother tuning in to the online telecast of the national day parade. it was a yearly affair back home. catching glimpses of those who rule the country. S R Nathan looks strikingly similar to a prata man or a MaMa shop owner. i'm anything but patriotic. then again, i question the reason on why i should be. have you ever recalled how you loved singing all those cheery national day songs when you were little? was is because you REALLY enjoyed it? or was it because you tried to enjoy it while you were made to sing it a thousand times until your teacher was satisfied?

After all, we are the only country that bans bubblegum. i mean... is bubblegum really that hazardous (as compared to cigarettes)? maybe this is a trivial issue. but what about the intolerance towards homosexuality? gays and lesbians may be a moral and ethical issue but does that mean we have to shun them from society? does it mean that we have to judge them even before knowing them? does that make them any less human? [the rigidity of the government]

what about education? the sight of children below the age of 10 cramping their brains out doing difficult mathematical problems, dealing with bombastic english words and of course a second language makes me cringe. what happened to hopscotch, zero point, five stones and police & thieves? those that struggled through this education system are deemed as mediocre and mundane. those that succeeded probably had a deprived childhood. those that failed are in the following EM3 (*normal* stream), ITE or some vocational institute, being discriminated for life.

this is a pending problem which i feel that the government neglects. then again, it is very nearly impossible to become an educated person in a country so distrustful of an independent mind.

another sensitive issue is censorship. i'm a firm believer of self-censorship. why portray the world in some lovely pastel colours when it's not? being overprotective? the brutality of war, the intimacy of making love? aren't these not a true representation of reality? besides, they were placed in that particular film for a reason. for art. not for some ah peks going to cinemas for a cheap thrill. isn't it ironic that the pornography confiscated in pirated VCD shops end up in policemen's VCD players?

last but not least, i'm disappointed in the way the government handled the recession. the expansionary fiscal policy states that you should reduce taxes to encourage consumer spending which will in turn boost the economy. but what did they do in our times of woe? they increased the GST to 4% and they had unjust transportation hikes. and what happened to the non existent trade union? oh wait, did i forget to mention? NTUC is owned by the government. duh.

maybe i wasn't in the era of the sixties when our forefathers went through a lot of hardship to build what singapore is today to actually develop a sense of belonging to this country... maybe this country lacks a sense of identity... except probably the 'Ugly Singaporean' displaying traits of Kiasu-ism (afraid to lose out to others) and selfishness. maybe i'm ashamed to be part of this culture.

note to myself: need to improve on scrabble

*yawnz* morning peeps.

was pretty much aggravated by the scrabble session i had with ryan last night on yahoo games till 3 AM. he's ranked one of the highest in the room. i undoubtly lost to him by a 'considerable' margin of 100 points! *embaressed* i never felt so stupid before. constrained by my vocabulary. *grrr* suffered from braincramp shortly after.

woke up this morning in a pretty much lifeless state. struggled to keep awake during law tutorial. stomach grumbled a few times. had no time for breakfast. didn't have the slightest idea what the tutor was talking about...

plantiff, defendant, apallent, injunction, recission, restitution, jurisdiction, from small tribunals, local court, district court, high court, to supreme court and federal court. criminal & civil law. concurrent powers includes both commonwealth and state. federal parliment & privy councils. statutes & torts. *blur*

better make good use of this weekend. heading to the city in a while with Mel. gonna do some window shopping. i guess this is one of the post menstrual syndromes. hopefully i will NOT buy anything :P

Pang Tahan Seh Song Boh Soyabean

the skies were beautiful today. a double rainbow appeared. i regretted not bringing my digital camera out. it made me reminisce about the past. it's like when you're young, these things used to facinate you. but when you're older, you tend to take things for granted.

i felt like a child today. prancing around in the light rain. i had a smile that i couldn't wipe off my face. i just stood there at the basketball court at trinity college starring upwards. my thoughts varied from the physical explanation of the division of the spectrum of white light to the fairy tales of the leprechauns revealing secret treasures at the end of the rainbow. simply enchanting.

feeling a bit guilty not putting as much effort as i should be into my studies. actually, i can't even believe that i'm in uni now. maybe the internet is a distraction. oh wells, had better hit the books. as for the people who want swedish meatballs, please make reservations in my guestbook. *cheers*

and special thanks to Mel, my roomie for well.. being such a great housemate. cooking me food when i'm hungry. heh heh. laughing at me because i look spastic trying to vacuum the house (read: i don't do housework). and caring for me :)

and i think to myself... what a wonderful world....

was on the bus ride to Subiaco today. as i looked out the window, i felt this inner peacefulness and i started smiling to myself. *silly grin* i'm happy that i came here. it's as if i'm living two lives. i could relate to this children's book 'a cat with two houses'.

was supposed to swim in their heated pool with my bikini. but my period came. tried a tampon for the very first time. i couldn't even get it in. hurt like hell. so i rushed down to the supermarket with Lisa and got some sanitary pads. it cost like 5 bucks. so i passed the cashier a 20. and he returned me $19.95 in change. lucky me :)

got down to making swedish meatballs! yum yum as Maria would say. one pack of minced beef. onions. egg. oil.lots of black pepper and salt. had pasta with cheese with it as well. and to top it off, we had red wine in beautiful tall wine glasses.

another week of school is about to start. and i'm slowly getting used to the pressure. need to go swimming next week. build up some muscles and abs.

many thanks to Aaron for driving me back on late nights in his skyline. really really appreciate it. don't forget dinner next week at our place. lotsa rice included ;)

here are some of the pictures taken over the weekend. Maria is the blonde while Lisa is the brunette. then there's Marcus standing and Jingwei & Nicholas sitting.

my night @ Mambo Red

went for Mambo Red at Pallas Hotel, Northbridge. it's a yearly event for singaporean international students in UWA. there were also people from the other 3 varsities in Perth. ECU, Curtin and Murdoch. was a last minute invitation from TJ. went with a whole bunch of Trinity people.

was enjoying myself until a friend kinda pissed me off due to what he said. but right now, we've resolved whatever misunderstanding that happened. was kinda embaressing and awkward. not to mention, a dent to my ego.

guys started to approach me at the disco. some just said 'hello' with a cheeky smile. some asked me if i wanted to dance with them. while others, tried to get my number. one even tried to ask me out the very next day and potentially becoming his girlfriend. like wtf! *slaps hand on forehead* i don't really like the idea of guys approaching me...

maybe i shouldn't have taken up that last minute offer. maybe i should have just stayed home and all of this uncalled for events would not have happened. maybe... it's just fate.

newae, here's a pic of me and my housemate,melissa.

baskin robbins & gelare rule!

halfway through the second week of school. went for an EBS tutorial on monday. conclusion: the tutor sucked big time. she happens to be an honours student mind you, yet she can't even solve a proving question on algebra? how sad.

you kinda have expectations coming to one of Australia's top six universities. oh wells. *disappointed*

wasn't really paying attention during my macro lecture. was checking out the aussie crowd for cute guys. they seem to be abundant in supply. i think i'm suffering from Attention Difficiency Syndrome.

had dinner at bibik chan's which happens to be near my house. the nasi lemak was good. it was served with spicy beef rendang. Mel (my roomie) had mee goreng. she contributed two thirds of her food to Aaron. *pities Aaron* he is erm.. over nourished? haha.

had baskin robbins cookies & cream ice cream after that. *bloated*

been exploring Claremount, the suburb next to Nedlands. saw a man who dragged at a costume shop. my housemate told me that in September there would be a gay parade in the city. i'll be sure to catch that one. cameras are a must.

have yet to check out the local music scene. but there are pubs in the city that usually have live bands at Northbridge. i was stupid enough to leave my Singapore IC in my house. had no idea that they was so particular about age restrictions. because of me, Eugene and Adrian (ACS too) couldn't go in as well. felt bad. ended up at Steves.

pictures of my school (UWA)

an entry dedicated to Trainspotting

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embaressment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

Authentic Swedish Meatballs!

Just begun my first week of school. Feeling extremely stressed. Uni is not what I perceived it to be. It’s going to be tough. The Kiasu-ism within me and other fellow Singaporean students here is starting to kick in. Already I’ve arranged for a few of them to come over and do tutorials together.

I hate my Law module. The lecturer speaks like a bullet train. And the terminology used is so foreign. *panics* the other three are Financial Accounting, Economics & Business Statistics and Macro Economics. My Macro lecturer looks like Tom Hanks. heh heh.

Went down to the city with this ACS guy (Eugene). He was nice enough to accompany me for dinner at McDees then to Carnegies for booze. They had this MTV machine. So I popped in a dollar and played ‘Goodbye To You’ by Michelle Branch. The song got stuck in his head. Could hear him mumbling the lyrics every five minutes. Found it erm... amusing.

It was like 8 at night but it felt like a ghost town except for a few aboriginals roaming aimlessly at the train station and city bus port. It felt like walking down orchard road at 2 in the freaking morning.

People have this misconception that I look an IJ (CHIJ) girl *stereotyped*. I wonder whether that’s a good or bad thing. Went out with Aaron, he knows a few of the cultus people. He’s getting his Nissan Skyline sometime next week. Got my lava lamp.

I got to know a couple of Swedish girls (my coursemates). And guess what? They are going to teach me how to make Swedish Meatballs! Not the type you get at Ikea but the authentic ones! Whoo hoo!~ they were also nice enough to invite me along with two other Australian girls to a pub on Saturday called Metro City which mainly plays R & B then crash at their posh apartment.

hell freezes over

yesh. finally. i am at perth now. freezing to death. wearing at least three layers per day. i have learnt to appreciate singapore's tropical weather. my university looks great. will post some pictures when my home connection is up. dvds are dirt cheap over here. i bought 'trainspotting' for AU$19.

gonna get a lava lamp. that's cheap here too. it's like AU$29.95. but it's only available at this place called 'carousel' in one of the suburbs. the Ikea is rather small. got a desk lamp, roller chair, shoe rack and some ity-bity stuff.

another suburb called 'Subiaco' has a factory Nike outlet. bought a pair of SHORT shorts for AU$20 only. great bargin. bought a trainspotting word poster as well. decorating my room. it's kinda small though. but that also means less cleaning up. heh heh.

the swan river is simply beautiful. but it's kinda boring at night over here. there's this place called 'the church' which happens to be a disco. i mean like *appropriate*? the students call it the unholy church.

school starts tommorrow. i got to know some of the first year students already during orientation. and i keep stealing meals from the trinity hall hostel. *guilty look* the breakfast is delicious! hash browns and scrambled eggs. heaven.

parting is such sweet sorrow

finally got all my luggage in order. two huge ones to be checked-in and one handbag with my laptop. wish i could bring all my friends along.

jess came over today to give me a french manicure. her beau, keith came over as well. he helpped my mom carry the groceries in. *laughs* i'm extremely satisfied with my pretty nails.

as for those who are coming to send me off tommorrow...thank you. please meet at 7.30am and give me a call when you guys reach. gonna have our pictures taken. *smilez* and burger king breakfast!

my internet connection over there won't be ready till a week later. so please be patient on the photos. wish you people all the best in your future undertakings in the next five months!

the shepherd & his sheep

sharon drove us (jess, jerm and i) to zouk in her Saab. comfy leather seats. spacious too. was all hyped up for ButchHunt 2003.

before i go on, i would like to declare that i'm purely heterosexual. the 12 butches on competition that night were a colourful lot. we were there to support contestant number 1. her name was Marie. Her arch rival was this girl named 'Boo'. (i mean like *name*)

to be honest, some of the butches looked really good. definitely comparable to most handsome men (only they are not). it was an eye opener. at times, a bit overwhelming. but they were all nice people. very happening crowd. spotted Rebecca, the Lee Hwa Jewellery advertistment girl amongst the crowd.

got my 'a'levels certificate today. jo accompanied me. was self-enlightened when i realised that bus 28 didn't go to my Alma Mater. then again, it has been half a year since i took bus to school. had to walk in the scorching hot sun. almost melted and 'died' of dehydration.

wasted money on the stupid bus fare twice. we wanted to have our heavenly mozerella cheesticks at Dan Ryan's. but bus 17 broke down. it took forever to reach the interchange. again, i question the government about the unjustified bus hikes last year. any improvement in bus services? i highly doubt so.

the furniture in my perth apartment is ready. whoo hoo~ *cheers* i don't have a proper bed yet though. probably have to sleep on the sofa bed till i get one.

other furniture i would like to get:
1) lavalamp
2) white board (to jot down important events)
3) hi-fi set (to blast my music)

*party time*

idling my last few days it seems. was feeling a little depressed lately over someone. spent many sleepless nights trying to find faults within myself or reasons that would relieve me of this heavy burden on my chest. but to no avail.

reading the newspaper made me feel somewhat better. Aldous Huxley was mentioned with his famed novel Brave New World describing Singapore as a genetic engineering hub in the future. he was linked to an up and coming author which i have taken an interest to, Margaret Atwood. i'm just proud to say i read their stuff.

received a call from a friend residing in France. was glad to hear his voice. it's been about half a year since we last contacted each other. it's a pity that he'll be coming back only a day after i leave. won't be seeing him till 2005 i think.

found out that the volkswagen new beetle convertible costs roughly S$133,890. it's probably one of the cars i would like to own. maybe after i return and get a stable job for a few years or so. then again, with that kind of money, i could get a Lexus or a Camry. designer brand or comfort? it's all about choice.

attending to a butch hunt thingy with jess and her model friends tonight at zouk. i'm not exactly homophobic or anything but i'm kinda nervous. heard they are all really beautiful and slim. feeling a tinge of jealousy. *laughs* but then again, heard they are really fun to hang out with. one of them is coming to fetch me along with jess. *party time*

sentosa chalet pictures

the guys and i looking down from above.

erm... apparently no pets were allowed. cheng was accused of being one.

comic relief: people were bored at the bbq i guess.

close buddies

got my digital camera utilities up on my laptop. here's a picture of me and jessica:

i got gucci glasses!

*yawnz*

maid tried to wake me up at 7. but was up till midnight to settle some last minute add-ins on what to bring along in my suitcases. so naturally, i continued on my much needed beauty sleep. finally woke up at 9 plus to play basketball with shen at bedok community centre. i was out of practice.

finally gotten my gucci sunglasses. thanks to the great singapore sale. didn't go for the conventional black. more of a bit lighter yellowish. paid good money for it. i heard mango was on sale. they even emailed me in advance. but i somehow feel that the standard and quality of the clothes has been dropping every season. got a light brown curdoroy roxy bag. needed a new school bag.

parents finalised my monthly allowance. i'll be getting about $1K per month inclusive of lodging, utility bills, food and miscellaneous expenses. i personally think that it's more than enough. well, then again, i can shop for all the australian surfbrands. i heard roxy products are cheaper over there. and even cheaper when there's a sale on last season's stuff.

went for some pre-departure briefing yesterday. was boring. gonna watch the movie basic with the gang now. later.

my review for basic:
'basic' was good. thought provoking to be exact. the plot was confusing. you discover a new fact that counters the previous one every next fifteen minutes. and everything is revealed in the end. only that we didn't get the real visual on what actually happened in the battlefield. section 8 was cool. west (samuel L jackson) looked sadistic.

interesting stuff...

came across some interesting facts the other day on the newspaper:

after birth, boys are four to five times more likely to be autistic than girls. (someone immediately rang in my mind: SHEN! with his tendancies of thinking that he's royalty). boys are also one and a half more times prone to mental retardation than girls. boys also suffer from dylexia 2 to 3 times as often as girls.

don't i feel lucky to be a girl ;)

You're Nemo! You love to explore you're boundaries
and don't like to be stuck at home especially
with overprotective parents. You're most likely
a outgoing person and love to make friends!
You're a likeable person so don't change!

What character from Finding Nemo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What rating is your journal?
brought to you by Quizilla

responsibility traded for independance

had yet another sleepless night. the thought of not being able to adjust to the life in Australia seems like a pending problem. this is due mainly to me being on my very own for the first time, without my folks (i mean, they've been there all my life). it's almost unbearable.

i have always wanted to stand on my own two feet and prove to everyone (and myself) that i can make it through this short span of time on earth called life admist the countless setbacks that i have received so far and the many more to come. an opportunity arises now and thou shall not fail.

was at suntec yesterday to catch CheapThrills play at the fountain of wealth. the first song was dedicated to pam and i who are both going overseas to study. their debut was fantastic. i've noticed that the time and effort put into their music over the past fe